Bargaining in good faith with destiny.

At 10:30 last night my newsfeed blew up into a slew of statuses about the Trayvon Martin verdict. Most of what I saw was disgust about Zimmerman being found not guilty, myself included. But others decried this anger, saying the jury knew things we didn't (admittedly I  didn't watch the entire trial, so I guess fair point.) and that they were faced with the task of upholding justice. Basically, we shouldn't blame the jury because they did what the law told them to do. And (I know this will come across as heinous on my part) I agree with them. We shouldn't be mad at the jury.

We should be mad at ourselves. 

We should be furious that we live in a country where the laws are written so that the death of a child results in no punishment. Because he was standing his ground. Against somebody that had every right to be where he was. This isn't an issue of Martin breaking into Zimmerman's house. This isn't an issue of Martin attacking Zimmerman in the dark. This is an issue of a grown man shooting an unarmed teenager because he viewed the kid as suspicious.

Here's the thing. Laws aren't inherently morals. There are things that are legal to do that are evil things to do. If the laws worked to ensure that people were good to each other, there would be more bankers in jail because of 2007. But they're not, because while what the did is morally abhorrent, it wasn't technically illegal.

People want to point out the racism in this case. And yes. The racism needs to be pointed out. How we think about violence involving people of color needs to change. The racism in this case makes me feel sick. But at the same time, I'm much more upset that we have laws that support inordinate amounts of violence in the name of "self defense."

I don't believe personal property is something to kill over. Zimmerman didn't want 'punks' to 'get away' with stealing from him. His answer to the question of how to protect his belongings was death. Maybe I'm wrong in that belief; if I am, I'm comfortable being wrong.

I failed Trayvon Martin. You failed Trayvon Martin. Our country failed Trayvon Martin. And for that I am sorry. I am sorry to his family, I am sorry to the other victims of violence who don't have their story told. I am sorry that I haven't created a society in which violence is not a legitimate answer.

Some may thing I'm too hard on myself. Or that I'm being too hard on you. One person can't completely change the world, and its unfair of me to put that burden on myself (or on you.)


But it is our job to create the world in which we want to live. I want to live in a world where teenagers don't die because of skin color and assumptions. I want to live in a world where if this does happen, we cry out together "That is not ok."

I'm sorry to Travyon. And I'm sorry to the hundreds of nameless people who die every day because of this culture of violence. I'm sorry that so far, I've failed to create the world we deserve.But I promise the fight won't go away, that those seeking a better world will not go quietly into the night. I promise that while I have one breath left in my lungs, it will be used to remember you and why talking and fighting and believing in humanity being inherently good.

The title of my blog (and this post) is a Kurt Vonnegut quotation. It's from the beginning of Slaptstick, when he's talking about how love never seemed all that important. When asked what was important he said "bargaining in good faith with destiny." If you're not doing that, you're doing life wrong.

Will the world ever be perfect? Probably not. Equality and justice are not goals to achieve, they are states of being. We owe it to each other to live like this.