Real talk guys.
I've been up since 2:30 with terrible back pain. Pain relievers, stretching, a hot shower, pacing none of it's helped. It's hard to take a deep breath, and I find myself constantly moving into weirder and weirder positions to find any sort of relief.
I'm sure it will eventually go away. (I fell asleep on my love seat earlier and think I just pulled some muscles.) But I'm also terrified it won't. Since I'm 26 I'm no longer eligible to be on my parents. Despite the fact that I'm full time, my job doesn't offer health insurance in my position. I'm not married, so I can't get it that way either.
If this happened in two months, I'd be ok. Through the subsidies with the ACA, and the more affordable plans, I could afford going to a doctor so that I could: 1. make sure this isn't something chronic or long term, and 2. figure out something to do to either get rid of the pain, or at least manage it.
I've been lucky health wise for most of my life. And I'm much better off than many I know. But the fact remains, at this moment I can't afford to go to a doctor.
People talk about the ACA like it only affects nameless, faceless people. They talk about the people it will benefit like they're some small, meaningless number.
But it's me guys. The ACA was designed for people like me. I'm typing this kneeling on a pillow because currently that's the only position that doesn't make me want to cry. I'm absolutely exhausted, but can't sleep, it feels like there's a steel bar around my torso squeezing way too hard.
I've looked into free clinics. The ones around me require a state id and proof of residence in martin county. I still have my Connecticut license. (Which I realize is my fault.) In addition 4-8 pay stubs, or a letter from your employer stating how much you make. Not things I have lying around. And although I do think regular doctors visits are good, without insurance it's not something I've been concerned about. I didn't look at these services until I needed them, and there are a lot of steps I need to take to get it. (If I even qualify, they don't specify what the income bracket is.)
I don't want to claim to be some poster child for the failure of the current health care system. I'm not. I'm just a woman thinking about how I'm supposed to be at work in 6 hours, whether or not I can stand.
Wednesday, November 13, 2013
Sunday, July 14, 2013
Bargaining in good faith with destiny.
At 10:30 last night my newsfeed blew up into a slew of statuses about the Trayvon Martin verdict. Most of what I saw was disgust about Zimmerman being found not guilty, myself included. But others decried this anger, saying the jury knew things we didn't (admittedly I didn't watch the entire trial, so I guess fair point.) and that they were faced with the task of upholding justice. Basically, we shouldn't blame the jury because they did what the law told them to do. And (I know this will come across as heinous on my part) I agree with them. We shouldn't be mad at the jury.
We should be mad at ourselves.
We should be furious that we live in a country where the laws are written so that the death of a child results in no punishment. Because he was standing his ground. Against somebody that had every right to be where he was. This isn't an issue of Martin breaking into Zimmerman's house. This isn't an issue of Martin attacking Zimmerman in the dark. This is an issue of a grown man shooting an unarmed teenager because he viewed the kid as suspicious.
Here's the thing. Laws aren't inherently morals. There are things that are legal to do that are evil things to do. If the laws worked to ensure that people were good to each other, there would be more bankers in jail because of 2007. But they're not, because while what the did is morally abhorrent, it wasn't technically illegal.
People want to point out the racism in this case. And yes. The racism needs to be pointed out. How we think about violence involving people of color needs to change. The racism in this case makes me feel sick. But at the same time, I'm much more upset that we have laws that support inordinate amounts of violence in the name of "self defense."
I don't believe personal property is something to kill over. Zimmerman didn't want 'punks' to 'get away' with stealing from him. His answer to the question of how to protect his belongings was death. Maybe I'm wrong in that belief; if I am, I'm comfortable being wrong.
I failed Trayvon Martin. You failed Trayvon Martin. Our country failed Trayvon Martin. And for that I am sorry. I am sorry to his family, I am sorry to the other victims of violence who don't have their story told. I am sorry that I haven't created a society in which violence is not a legitimate answer.
Some may thing I'm too hard on myself. Or that I'm being too hard on you. One person can't completely change the world, and its unfair of me to put that burden on myself (or on you.)
But it is our job to create the world in which we want to live. I want to live in a world where teenagers don't die because of skin color and assumptions. I want to live in a world where if this does happen, we cry out together "That is not ok."
I'm sorry to Travyon. And I'm sorry to the hundreds of nameless people who die every day because of this culture of violence. I'm sorry that so far, I've failed to create the world we deserve.But I promise the fight won't go away, that those seeking a better world will not go quietly into the night. I promise that while I have one breath left in my lungs, it will be used to remember you and why talking and fighting and believing in humanity being inherently good.
The title of my blog (and this post) is a Kurt Vonnegut quotation. It's from the beginning of Slaptstick, when he's talking about how love never seemed all that important. When asked what was important he said "bargaining in good faith with destiny." If you're not doing that, you're doing life wrong.
Will the world ever be perfect? Probably not. Equality and justice are not goals to achieve, they are states of being. We owe it to each other to live like this.
We should be mad at ourselves.
We should be furious that we live in a country where the laws are written so that the death of a child results in no punishment. Because he was standing his ground. Against somebody that had every right to be where he was. This isn't an issue of Martin breaking into Zimmerman's house. This isn't an issue of Martin attacking Zimmerman in the dark. This is an issue of a grown man shooting an unarmed teenager because he viewed the kid as suspicious.
Here's the thing. Laws aren't inherently morals. There are things that are legal to do that are evil things to do. If the laws worked to ensure that people were good to each other, there would be more bankers in jail because of 2007. But they're not, because while what the did is morally abhorrent, it wasn't technically illegal.
People want to point out the racism in this case. And yes. The racism needs to be pointed out. How we think about violence involving people of color needs to change. The racism in this case makes me feel sick. But at the same time, I'm much more upset that we have laws that support inordinate amounts of violence in the name of "self defense."
I don't believe personal property is something to kill over. Zimmerman didn't want 'punks' to 'get away' with stealing from him. His answer to the question of how to protect his belongings was death. Maybe I'm wrong in that belief; if I am, I'm comfortable being wrong.
I failed Trayvon Martin. You failed Trayvon Martin. Our country failed Trayvon Martin. And for that I am sorry. I am sorry to his family, I am sorry to the other victims of violence who don't have their story told. I am sorry that I haven't created a society in which violence is not a legitimate answer.
Some may thing I'm too hard on myself. Or that I'm being too hard on you. One person can't completely change the world, and its unfair of me to put that burden on myself (or on you.)
But it is our job to create the world in which we want to live. I want to live in a world where teenagers don't die because of skin color and assumptions. I want to live in a world where if this does happen, we cry out together "That is not ok."
I'm sorry to Travyon. And I'm sorry to the hundreds of nameless people who die every day because of this culture of violence. I'm sorry that so far, I've failed to create the world we deserve.But I promise the fight won't go away, that those seeking a better world will not go quietly into the night. I promise that while I have one breath left in my lungs, it will be used to remember you and why talking and fighting and believing in humanity being inherently good.
The title of my blog (and this post) is a Kurt Vonnegut quotation. It's from the beginning of Slaptstick, when he's talking about how love never seemed all that important. When asked what was important he said "bargaining in good faith with destiny." If you're not doing that, you're doing life wrong.
Will the world ever be perfect? Probably not. Equality and justice are not goals to achieve, they are states of being. We owe it to each other to live like this.
Saturday, May 25, 2013
Standing here. Being stil, being sad, bearing witness.
"Don't just do something, stand there. We all want to do something to mitigate the pain of loss or to turn greif into something positive, to find the silver lining in the cloud. But I believe there is real value in just standing there, being still, being sad, bearing witness to [her] life and allowing ourselves to be transformed by it." -John Green
My Grandmother passed away earlier this week. And that sucks. Two weeks ago I was watching my sister graduate from UIS (cum laude proclaims her big sister, with pride,) and today I can't sleep because I know in a few hours I'll be saying goodbye to one of the biggest influences in my life. I've been racking my brain all week to come up with some memory, some theme of our relationship that sums everything up, conveys how very special she was to me and how even though we'll carry on, even though this is the way of the world, there will always be a small Mema shaped hole in us.
But I can't She was too big, this is too big to be summed up nicely in a metaphorical memory. All I keep thinking about is Harry Potter. Not anything in the story particularly. But the series itself. My Grandma gave me the first book after a trip visiting one of my uncles. She handed me the hardcover, which at 11 years old felt rather hefty and grown up. I doubted my ability to get into it, a skinny 11 year old boy who was popular and charming and talented and magical seemed the exact opposite of me. But if you know me, you know that once I got into that book, I couldn't put it down. Or the next ones. I went to every midnight book premier and when the final movie came out, when I was 24, I was right there in the midnight showing, blessed to be there with my sister and cousins. That series changed who I was, helped a young me think about the world and believe that I could become something more than my awkward teenage self. I don't know how she knew I needed that book, but she did.
Maybe that sums her up a bit better than I thought. My Grandmother had the uncanny ability to know what I, and many others needed. She always managed to send a card, or a phone call exactly when you were feeling down and needed a pick me up. When I taught her to text (which I consider one of my crowning achievements) it became even easier for her to pick me up while I was feeling low.
Other people will be able to attest to her strong faith and sense of community service much better than I can ever dream to. She was a great woman, bent and determined to make her own little corner of this world the best it could be. She found beauty and humor in everything. She raised five awesome kids, which in turn raised 14 awesome grandkids, which are now raising 16 (and counting) awesome great grand kids which will raise even more great great grand kids, and so on until the sun explodes and nobody remembers anything about the Mona Lisa or string theory, or sadly, my Grandmother.
But I remember her now. I remember her love of the Cubs and boxed wine. Her long marriage to my Grandfather. I remember long summer afternoons at a pool, cold winters fighting me to do my math homework. I remember her being disappointed when I wasn't the person she knew I could be, and her shinning face as I walked across the stage to receive my degree. I remember her laughing at my dumb jokes and encouraging me as a stand up comic, or in my charity fundraising.
I remember one more thing. It's something that makes me look bad. Bad in the sense that I am human and dont always realize how lucky I was to have her with me. The last time I was home she was staying with my parents as well. I made myself some lunch, and while sitting with her eating it, she mentioned she was hungry. I begrudgingly handed over half my sandwich. I tried hard not to let her know it was begrudgingly, because she taught me to share and be kind. But secretly I was really hungry and impatient and didn't really want to share. But I sat there, eating it with her, and saw how pleased she seemed that I had given her that half sandwich. That I was nice enough to make sure that she was fed too. And that's the last memory I have of her. Something to remind me to always be kind, think of others, and share the extra that I have.
I don't know how she knew that's what I needed, but she did.
My Grandmother passed away earlier this week. And that sucks. Two weeks ago I was watching my sister graduate from UIS (cum laude proclaims her big sister, with pride,) and today I can't sleep because I know in a few hours I'll be saying goodbye to one of the biggest influences in my life. I've been racking my brain all week to come up with some memory, some theme of our relationship that sums everything up, conveys how very special she was to me and how even though we'll carry on, even though this is the way of the world, there will always be a small Mema shaped hole in us.
But I can't She was too big, this is too big to be summed up nicely in a metaphorical memory. All I keep thinking about is Harry Potter. Not anything in the story particularly. But the series itself. My Grandma gave me the first book after a trip visiting one of my uncles. She handed me the hardcover, which at 11 years old felt rather hefty and grown up. I doubted my ability to get into it, a skinny 11 year old boy who was popular and charming and talented and magical seemed the exact opposite of me. But if you know me, you know that once I got into that book, I couldn't put it down. Or the next ones. I went to every midnight book premier and when the final movie came out, when I was 24, I was right there in the midnight showing, blessed to be there with my sister and cousins. That series changed who I was, helped a young me think about the world and believe that I could become something more than my awkward teenage self. I don't know how she knew I needed that book, but she did.
Maybe that sums her up a bit better than I thought. My Grandmother had the uncanny ability to know what I, and many others needed. She always managed to send a card, or a phone call exactly when you were feeling down and needed a pick me up. When I taught her to text (which I consider one of my crowning achievements) it became even easier for her to pick me up while I was feeling low.
Other people will be able to attest to her strong faith and sense of community service much better than I can ever dream to. She was a great woman, bent and determined to make her own little corner of this world the best it could be. She found beauty and humor in everything. She raised five awesome kids, which in turn raised 14 awesome grandkids, which are now raising 16 (and counting) awesome great grand kids which will raise even more great great grand kids, and so on until the sun explodes and nobody remembers anything about the Mona Lisa or string theory, or sadly, my Grandmother.
But I remember her now. I remember her love of the Cubs and boxed wine. Her long marriage to my Grandfather. I remember long summer afternoons at a pool, cold winters fighting me to do my math homework. I remember her being disappointed when I wasn't the person she knew I could be, and her shinning face as I walked across the stage to receive my degree. I remember her laughing at my dumb jokes and encouraging me as a stand up comic, or in my charity fundraising.
I remember one more thing. It's something that makes me look bad. Bad in the sense that I am human and dont always realize how lucky I was to have her with me. The last time I was home she was staying with my parents as well. I made myself some lunch, and while sitting with her eating it, she mentioned she was hungry. I begrudgingly handed over half my sandwich. I tried hard not to let her know it was begrudgingly, because she taught me to share and be kind. But secretly I was really hungry and impatient and didn't really want to share. But I sat there, eating it with her, and saw how pleased she seemed that I had given her that half sandwich. That I was nice enough to make sure that she was fed too. And that's the last memory I have of her. Something to remind me to always be kind, think of others, and share the extra that I have.
I don't know how she knew that's what I needed, but she did.
Monday, October 8, 2012
28 days, 12 hours, 51 minutes. Use them.
28 days. 13 hours. 54 minutes.
I start this blog entry with that much time left. I start this blog entry knowing that in 29 days the next president will be decided. Knowing that in a very real way, the result that comes out is due to me. Some people have said that I'm putting too much pressure on myself. But I'm not. At the end of the day there is not an amount of pressure that is too much. This job matters. I'm not here for myself, or even for my friends and family. I'm here for my country, my neighbors, people I've never met.
This video sums up exactly how I feel about this election. In 28 days you will be faced with a choice. You will be asked to decide how you think this country should proceed. Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan present you with one option. That option says that we benefit as a country when we take a top down approach. That when we give breaks to the people at the top it will benefit those at the bottom.
And in a way, this is a beautiful outlook. I want to believe that a CEO given a billion dollars in tax cuts will raise the pay of the average employee. That he'll invest in hiring more people to better jobs. I like the idea that those who have inherited their money will use it to grow the country.
When I was a manager I wanted to believe that every time an employee told me they were sick, that they really were. I wanted to believe that nobody took advantage of me, my kindness, my understanding. But that wasn't true. Not because they were bad people, but because life happens, and when life happens it's very easy to forget to look beyond your nose.
I'm guilty of it too. I've been greedy, choose to look out for myself rather than helping someone else. It's human nature. The sweater I'm wearing I could have invested in other, wiser ways. But I didn't. Doesn't make me a bad person, makes me very human. Expecting the extremely wealthy to be anything other than that is not fair to them.
However, human society is different. Human society has come far. Every religion, every creed, every society recognizes and extols the value of helping those in need. As a species we help each other out, because we know kindness is vital to our survival.
In the rumble in the air conditioned auditorium Bill O'Reilly and Jon Stewart discuss this difference (more eloquently and on point than I ever could.) Near the end Stewart says that we are only as strong as our weakest link. O'Reilly takes great offense to this, which I think is silly. It is inherent to any organization that they are only as strong as the weakest member. But that doesn't mean that *I* am only that strong. It doesn't mean that someone's unwillingness to move forward somehow decides my worth. Which is I think what conservatives are afraid of. They're afraid that offering help, and being a society that ensures nobody can fall to the bottom somehow says something about their work ethic. It doesn't. If someone chooses to take advantage of a system that's tragic. That's wrong. But if we take away that system because of the few who do, then we are wrong. We are tragic as a society, because we fail to understand the very basis of being human.
Again, I'll defer to someone who says what I mean much more eloquently.
The choice President Obama offers is clear. As a society, I think we need to agree on whether we believe a few basic things:
1. Working a standard work week (40 hours) should be adequate to provide you with the staples of life, an maybe even a little comfort. (That is a roof, food, medicine, electricity, water, heat, and maybe a dinner out now and then.)
2. If you are unable to find adequate work, we help you. We make sure the basics of survival are met for you.
3. If you are unable to work (either because of age, illness, injury, mental difficulties, or whatever) we take care of you.
4. If you have worked your entire life and retire, you have a base under which you cannot fall. It is your reward for putting into this society.
5. If you get sick, you are taken care of.
6. Children matter. They are our future. And we owe to them not only the basic essentials of life, but an education to build their (and inherently our) future.
7. If you join the armed forces, you will be taken care of afterward, as a thank you. It's the least we can do.
8. If you are a minority in any sense of the word (racially, sexual identity, religion, gender, physical/mental needs, etc.) we recognize that, and will protect your rights, your voice, and your life.
9. If you come from a background of financial disadvantage, that will not stop you. We as a society believe that you deserve a ladder to climb as well, and will make sure you get it.
10. If you work above a 40 hour week, you should be rewarded. Hard work is the backbone of this country. And going above and beyond deserves recognition.
If we believe these things, really believe them, then the amount of good we do cannot be spoiled by the few that will take advantage. The way we make these ten things happen is by a focus on the middle class. A focus that says the middle class deserves more money in their pocket, more protection from banks wanting to take advantage of them. A focus that says health issues should not bankrupt you. We make those ten things happen by taking the view that those of privilege owe the society that helped them along their way. That those of privilege have a duty to those that make up the majority of their country.
If we believe these things, as human beings we have a duty to enact them. Mitt Romney will not. Mitt Romney will provide a society that is dog eat dog, survival of the fittest. And we're better than that. I have to believe we are. I have to hope that at the end of the day my fellow man has my best interests at heart.
If we believe those things, then we have a duty to get involved in this election. We have a duty to seize the next 28 days and wring out of them everything we can. This election is too important to sit by and hope for the best. This election the choice is clear. Are we a group of people looking out only for ourselves, or own best interests, or are we a society 236 years old who have said from the beginning that every human being, regardless of birth, has the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness?
28 days, 12 hours, 51 minutes. Use them.
I start this blog entry with that much time left. I start this blog entry knowing that in 29 days the next president will be decided. Knowing that in a very real way, the result that comes out is due to me. Some people have said that I'm putting too much pressure on myself. But I'm not. At the end of the day there is not an amount of pressure that is too much. This job matters. I'm not here for myself, or even for my friends and family. I'm here for my country, my neighbors, people I've never met.
This video sums up exactly how I feel about this election. In 28 days you will be faced with a choice. You will be asked to decide how you think this country should proceed. Mitt Romney and Paul Ryan present you with one option. That option says that we benefit as a country when we take a top down approach. That when we give breaks to the people at the top it will benefit those at the bottom.
And in a way, this is a beautiful outlook. I want to believe that a CEO given a billion dollars in tax cuts will raise the pay of the average employee. That he'll invest in hiring more people to better jobs. I like the idea that those who have inherited their money will use it to grow the country.
When I was a manager I wanted to believe that every time an employee told me they were sick, that they really were. I wanted to believe that nobody took advantage of me, my kindness, my understanding. But that wasn't true. Not because they were bad people, but because life happens, and when life happens it's very easy to forget to look beyond your nose.
I'm guilty of it too. I've been greedy, choose to look out for myself rather than helping someone else. It's human nature. The sweater I'm wearing I could have invested in other, wiser ways. But I didn't. Doesn't make me a bad person, makes me very human. Expecting the extremely wealthy to be anything other than that is not fair to them.
However, human society is different. Human society has come far. Every religion, every creed, every society recognizes and extols the value of helping those in need. As a species we help each other out, because we know kindness is vital to our survival.
In the rumble in the air conditioned auditorium Bill O'Reilly and Jon Stewart discuss this difference (more eloquently and on point than I ever could.) Near the end Stewart says that we are only as strong as our weakest link. O'Reilly takes great offense to this, which I think is silly. It is inherent to any organization that they are only as strong as the weakest member. But that doesn't mean that *I* am only that strong. It doesn't mean that someone's unwillingness to move forward somehow decides my worth. Which is I think what conservatives are afraid of. They're afraid that offering help, and being a society that ensures nobody can fall to the bottom somehow says something about their work ethic. It doesn't. If someone chooses to take advantage of a system that's tragic. That's wrong. But if we take away that system because of the few who do, then we are wrong. We are tragic as a society, because we fail to understand the very basis of being human.
Again, I'll defer to someone who says what I mean much more eloquently.
The choice President Obama offers is clear. As a society, I think we need to agree on whether we believe a few basic things:
1. Working a standard work week (40 hours) should be adequate to provide you with the staples of life, an maybe even a little comfort. (That is a roof, food, medicine, electricity, water, heat, and maybe a dinner out now and then.)2. If you are unable to find adequate work, we help you. We make sure the basics of survival are met for you.
3. If you are unable to work (either because of age, illness, injury, mental difficulties, or whatever) we take care of you.
4. If you have worked your entire life and retire, you have a base under which you cannot fall. It is your reward for putting into this society.
5. If you get sick, you are taken care of.
6. Children matter. They are our future. And we owe to them not only the basic essentials of life, but an education to build their (and inherently our) future.
7. If you join the armed forces, you will be taken care of afterward, as a thank you. It's the least we can do.
8. If you are a minority in any sense of the word (racially, sexual identity, religion, gender, physical/mental needs, etc.) we recognize that, and will protect your rights, your voice, and your life.
9. If you come from a background of financial disadvantage, that will not stop you. We as a society believe that you deserve a ladder to climb as well, and will make sure you get it.
10. If you work above a 40 hour week, you should be rewarded. Hard work is the backbone of this country. And going above and beyond deserves recognition.
If we believe these things, really believe them, then the amount of good we do cannot be spoiled by the few that will take advantage. The way we make these ten things happen is by a focus on the middle class. A focus that says the middle class deserves more money in their pocket, more protection from banks wanting to take advantage of them. A focus that says health issues should not bankrupt you. We make those ten things happen by taking the view that those of privilege owe the society that helped them along their way. That those of privilege have a duty to those that make up the majority of their country.
If we believe these things, as human beings we have a duty to enact them. Mitt Romney will not. Mitt Romney will provide a society that is dog eat dog, survival of the fittest. And we're better than that. I have to believe we are. I have to hope that at the end of the day my fellow man has my best interests at heart.
If we believe those things, then we have a duty to get involved in this election. We have a duty to seize the next 28 days and wring out of them everything we can. This election is too important to sit by and hope for the best. This election the choice is clear. Are we a group of people looking out only for ourselves, or own best interests, or are we a society 236 years old who have said from the beginning that every human being, regardless of birth, has the right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness?
28 days, 12 hours, 51 minutes. Use them.
Friday, September 21, 2012
Yes. We. Can.
So I've been quiet. Partly because I'm busy (super lame excuse I know) but mostly because it's a job. I love it. I feel excited to be doing it. But you can only write "I AM SO EXCITED TO CHANGE THE WORLD" so many times before it gets boring. (For me and you guys.)
But yesterday was tough. Tons of nos. Lots of yeses too. But tons of people saying they were busy or didn't want to get involved. Tons of people slowly inching away from me, unwilling to commit. And this campaign only works when people commit. This campaign only works because people take ownership of it. I'm not going to win this election for Obama. The people I work with are. And I love that. I'm inspired by that. I love being a tool for the greater good.
But a hammer that isn't picked up is little more than a paperweight. Being refused is extremely hard for me. Especially when they're condescending about it. Don't call me sweetie to get me off the phone. Don't tell me that you're "too busy" when you've been shooting the shit in the office for ten minutes. Don't tell me you're scared. Starting this job I was uncomfortable picking up a phone and knocking a door. But my fear of the direction this country could take without my help scared me more. So yes. Incredibly frustrated. Yesterday was a "feeling like if they don't want to help themselves than what am I trying to do" sort of day.
Then I met Justin. Just randomly, at a bar where I went to take the edge off and relax a little. He sat down and we started talking. He has two little girls, Emma and Lilly (!!!!!) who are the second cutest set of kids I know. He works 60 hours a week in landscape, and is finishing his degree in horticulture.
Justin can't afford his rent. Luckily he knows his landlord and is able to use his days off to remodel some of the properties to cover where he's short. Justin has no savings, and has to take this semester off school. He's one emergency away from being homeless. He's a single dad, and loves teaching his girls about the outdoors. But he's going to have to sell his boat to cover bills and keep them taken care of.
Justin will be out of work on November 15th. And he's not hopeful about finding work for the winter. He has a record of burglary and marijuana possession. Both from when he was younger. He served two years in prison because of marijuana. Having worked in the industry I did before this, I know how hard it is to get someone to give you a chance when you have a record. I always tried very hard to not let felonies be the determining factor. But I was rare in that.
Justin is one of the kindest people I have met. He has a good soul. When he spoke about his daughters you could just see the love he had for them. The sadness he felt that their mother wasn't around. He didn't have much growing up, but that was ok. He doesn't want a lot now. He wants security, the knowledge that he'll be able to pay his bills, work hard, and raise his children well. He wants a future for them that he has watched close on himself. He wants a little extra to give Emma and Lilly a fantasy Christmas. He wants to finish his degree. He wants nothing more than what this country prides itself in providing.
Justin has never voted. He doesn't feel like he has a voice. He doesn't feel like he matters or is listened to or is someone the government cares about. And he's not alone. Justin's story is all too common today.
And at the end of the day, I have to remember that's why I'm here. I'm here for Justin and Emma and Lilly. I'm here to ensure that they have a voice, that the society we're fighting to create is one where he feels listened to, and like he matters. I'm here to fight and win, so that he can have a day off. So he can finish his degree and send his children to go further than he can. I'm here because I've been blessed with many opportunities, even if it didn't feel like it.
It's hard to remember that when I get a steady stream of rejections. But it's vital that I do. I can't allow the nos to ever get to me. Because I'm not here for myself. I'm not here so I can have the president that I want. I'm here to fulfill a promise older than myself, a promise that will stretch into the future long after I'm gone. I'm here because people like him exist, and it's time to stand up, say no, and fight to remove obstacles. I'm here so that that man, who works so hard for so little, can have the life he deserves. The life that this country promises to provide for all people who work hard, play by the rules, and take responsibility. I'm here for all the people who tell me no. I'm here for the amazing person who says yes.
But yesterday was tough. Tons of nos. Lots of yeses too. But tons of people saying they were busy or didn't want to get involved. Tons of people slowly inching away from me, unwilling to commit. And this campaign only works when people commit. This campaign only works because people take ownership of it. I'm not going to win this election for Obama. The people I work with are. And I love that. I'm inspired by that. I love being a tool for the greater good.
But a hammer that isn't picked up is little more than a paperweight. Being refused is extremely hard for me. Especially when they're condescending about it. Don't call me sweetie to get me off the phone. Don't tell me that you're "too busy" when you've been shooting the shit in the office for ten minutes. Don't tell me you're scared. Starting this job I was uncomfortable picking up a phone and knocking a door. But my fear of the direction this country could take without my help scared me more. So yes. Incredibly frustrated. Yesterday was a "feeling like if they don't want to help themselves than what am I trying to do" sort of day.
Then I met Justin. Just randomly, at a bar where I went to take the edge off and relax a little. He sat down and we started talking. He has two little girls, Emma and Lilly (!!!!!) who are the second cutest set of kids I know. He works 60 hours a week in landscape, and is finishing his degree in horticulture.
Justin can't afford his rent. Luckily he knows his landlord and is able to use his days off to remodel some of the properties to cover where he's short. Justin has no savings, and has to take this semester off school. He's one emergency away from being homeless. He's a single dad, and loves teaching his girls about the outdoors. But he's going to have to sell his boat to cover bills and keep them taken care of.
Justin will be out of work on November 15th. And he's not hopeful about finding work for the winter. He has a record of burglary and marijuana possession. Both from when he was younger. He served two years in prison because of marijuana. Having worked in the industry I did before this, I know how hard it is to get someone to give you a chance when you have a record. I always tried very hard to not let felonies be the determining factor. But I was rare in that.
Justin has never voted. He doesn't feel like he has a voice. He doesn't feel like he matters or is listened to or is someone the government cares about. And he's not alone. Justin's story is all too common today.
And at the end of the day, I have to remember that's why I'm here. I'm here for Justin and Emma and Lilly. I'm here to ensure that they have a voice, that the society we're fighting to create is one where he feels listened to, and like he matters. I'm here to fight and win, so that he can have a day off. So he can finish his degree and send his children to go further than he can. I'm here because I've been blessed with many opportunities, even if it didn't feel like it.
It's hard to remember that when I get a steady stream of rejections. But it's vital that I do. I can't allow the nos to ever get to me. Because I'm not here for myself. I'm not here so I can have the president that I want. I'm here to fulfill a promise older than myself, a promise that will stretch into the future long after I'm gone. I'm here because people like him exist, and it's time to stand up, say no, and fight to remove obstacles. I'm here so that that man, who works so hard for so little, can have the life he deserves. The life that this country promises to provide for all people who work hard, play by the rules, and take responsibility. I'm here for all the people who tell me no. I'm here for the amazing person who says yes.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Fired Up, Ready for Joe
Second week on the job, and Biden's coming. Like...what is my life right now? Every day I wake up and think about how I get to to go work. And I can't believe that my life is now about empowering people. And not in the auxiliary way it was before. I mean, I've always been for the development and growth of my employees, been for fighting for them, inspiring them to fight for themselves. But that was behind my first job of running a business. Now doing that is my business.
Been working on getting ready for Joe Biden. So far we've given away a couple thousand tickets. Most of them directly through my office. It's been kind of awesome to see so many people coming through. it's been my job to ask them to volunteer. People are definitely saying yes, but a lot of people are too busy.
Don't get me wrong. I realize people have commitments, I realize not everyone cares as much as me. But what we're asking for is two, three hours for your future.
Like, here's the thing guys. To win, Romney needs to take Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, or Ohio. Based on the resources/money he's spending in Pennsylvania and Ohio, we can conclude he's focusing on taking Wisconsin. I mean, it's our job to make sure he loses here, so that him pulling back in those two states is an even bigger mistake.
How do we do that? We get out and talk to voters. We get out there and inform our independent voters. The ground work is vital to this campaign. Not yard signs. Not going to fun events. It's the tough day to day work that makes a difference. Starting this job I was uncomfortable at the thought of approaching strangers, asking them to help, asking them their personal politics.
Today this one lady told me that if, at any time of her volunteering, she felt foolish, she'd be done. That's stupid. That is just plain stupid. I mean, number one, who really cars what these strangers on the other end of the phone feel? Number two, this thing. This thing that decides who the rule of your country is, isn't worth feeling foolish for one moment?
It's not a secret that I'm a fan of the grandiose statement. That I pride myself in finding the significance of even small moments. But this isn't a small moment. We're facing the election of a party that thinks of me as a second class citizen. That seeks to make the experience of nearly 1 in 4 women something to classify into legitimate and not ligitimite. We're facing the election of a ticket that will cut it's own taxes, while taking away protections that my cousins and second cousins need. We're facing the election of an ideology where some people are more equal than others. Where some identities are blamed for the ills of society that have more to do with our wallets than our conscious.
What we're asking is that one day a week, you give up tv time. Or internet time. That one day a week you maybe are a bit more harried than usual. We know this doesn't seem appealing. But it is absolutely vital. We know that we are lucky in that we get to think about this all day every day, that this is our work, and we don't have the distraction of other jobs. That's why the organizing is up to us. You show up, we give you a task, and you're done. Believe me, if I could knock the doors I need to, call the numbers I need to, by myself, I would. But I can't. Obama can't. Biden can't. We need your help.
And your patience. This isn't a perfect science. A man came in today, saying that the number of calls he received was going to deter him from voting. That because we were spending our time trying to get him in to lend a hand, he'd give up his right. And I get it. I know you don't want to be bothered. But we're people. We do this because we see the necessity. It's not that you're targeted. We're not trying to give you a hard time. WE're just fighting every day to make this the world you want to live in.
This can happen. Obama can be president again and our country can move forward on the path it needs to. But only with your help, your generosity, your patience, and your dedication. We need you.
Also, seriously. Two weeks ago I ran a pizza place. Now I organize events for Joe Biden. Every day marvel. I'm one of the luckiest people I know.
Been working on getting ready for Joe Biden. So far we've given away a couple thousand tickets. Most of them directly through my office. It's been kind of awesome to see so many people coming through. it's been my job to ask them to volunteer. People are definitely saying yes, but a lot of people are too busy.
Don't get me wrong. I realize people have commitments, I realize not everyone cares as much as me. But what we're asking for is two, three hours for your future.
Like, here's the thing guys. To win, Romney needs to take Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, or Ohio. Based on the resources/money he's spending in Pennsylvania and Ohio, we can conclude he's focusing on taking Wisconsin. I mean, it's our job to make sure he loses here, so that him pulling back in those two states is an even bigger mistake.
How do we do that? We get out and talk to voters. We get out there and inform our independent voters. The ground work is vital to this campaign. Not yard signs. Not going to fun events. It's the tough day to day work that makes a difference. Starting this job I was uncomfortable at the thought of approaching strangers, asking them to help, asking them their personal politics.Today this one lady told me that if, at any time of her volunteering, she felt foolish, she'd be done. That's stupid. That is just plain stupid. I mean, number one, who really cars what these strangers on the other end of the phone feel? Number two, this thing. This thing that decides who the rule of your country is, isn't worth feeling foolish for one moment?
It's not a secret that I'm a fan of the grandiose statement. That I pride myself in finding the significance of even small moments. But this isn't a small moment. We're facing the election of a party that thinks of me as a second class citizen. That seeks to make the experience of nearly 1 in 4 women something to classify into legitimate and not ligitimite. We're facing the election of a ticket that will cut it's own taxes, while taking away protections that my cousins and second cousins need. We're facing the election of an ideology where some people are more equal than others. Where some identities are blamed for the ills of society that have more to do with our wallets than our conscious.
What we're asking is that one day a week, you give up tv time. Or internet time. That one day a week you maybe are a bit more harried than usual. We know this doesn't seem appealing. But it is absolutely vital. We know that we are lucky in that we get to think about this all day every day, that this is our work, and we don't have the distraction of other jobs. That's why the organizing is up to us. You show up, we give you a task, and you're done. Believe me, if I could knock the doors I need to, call the numbers I need to, by myself, I would. But I can't. Obama can't. Biden can't. We need your help.
And your patience. This isn't a perfect science. A man came in today, saying that the number of calls he received was going to deter him from voting. That because we were spending our time trying to get him in to lend a hand, he'd give up his right. And I get it. I know you don't want to be bothered. But we're people. We do this because we see the necessity. It's not that you're targeted. We're not trying to give you a hard time. WE're just fighting every day to make this the world you want to live in.
This can happen. Obama can be president again and our country can move forward on the path it needs to. But only with your help, your generosity, your patience, and your dedication. We need you.
Also, seriously. Two weeks ago I ran a pizza place. Now I organize events for Joe Biden. Every day marvel. I'm one of the luckiest people I know.
Friday, September 7, 2012
Can we talk about the POTUS?
"Stand with me, work with me, let's finish what we started" -President Barack Obama
This place is tired. There has been a lot of attention placed on Wisconsin in the past couple years. Politics as usual is a violent affair. (Not physically violent, but messy and tumultuous.) Tammy Baldwin spoke on this more eloquently and with more authority than I ever could.
The problem is people see politics as a one off thing. Something they get involved in once every few years, then put away until the next cycle. Something that they don't have a responsibility to shape every year, every month, every week, every day if they can. Yes, they have responsibilities to attend to otherwise. And yes, those responsibilities are draining. That's why people like me exist. I'm here to fill in the gaps. I'm here to give them the information and empower to make the most effective change the most efficiently.
And that's the point of the Democratic Party. I think it says a lot when the President stands at a podium accepting his nomination and says that all his accomplishments, everything that people have lauded him for the past two days *we* did. For him to stand up and say to the American people that "you did this" is incredible. And it's a brilliant counterpoint to the GOP's motto of "we built this."
At the end of the day the people in Washington, the delegates, the people screaming "we built this" are a minority. An inclusive message is vital to winning this November.
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